A Promise to Ourselves

A Promise to Ourselves: A Journey Through Fatherhood and Divorce by Alec Baldwin

If anyone has even been through a divorce, whether as a child or an adult, you will know that, most of the time, it's nasty. As a teen, I watched my parents split up and eventually divorce. My parents' divorce, luckily, was not a nasty one, but it still wasn't pleasant. Visitations with Dad came every other weekend and holiday as well as every Wednesday night. Dad didn't have much money, so often we didn't do much, or we went to work with Dad. Mom and Dad refused to talk to each other in front of my sister and I, and now I completely understand. There were rumblings on both sides about the other parent and how "bad" they were. Mom didn't have a lot of money and so we went months at a time eating nothing but beans and rice. It was tough, things were tense, as a child, I could feel it. My personal experience with it was that divorce is just plain ugly no matter what. If there are children involved, then it's even worse. The people that end up getting hurt the worse are the children...whether they are aware of it or not is a different matter. So I grew up without. I grew up with this ugly cloud hanging over my head all the time.

Anyway, I seem to have gotten a bit off on my original topic here. This book, A Promise to Ourselves: A Journey Through Fatherhood and Divorce by Alec Baldwin, should be a must read for anyone, not just those who have been involved in a divorce. This book will open ones eyes to the transgressions of the legal system in this country.

In his book, Mr. Baldwin talks about PAS, his experience with the legal system, and other things. So what exactly is PAS? Parental alienation syndrome is a term defined by Richard A. Gardner to describe what he referred to as "a disturbance in which children are obsessively preoccupied with depreciation and/or criticism of a parent." (Wikipedia) Here it is in laymen's terms. Parental Alienation is:

• Blaming the other parent for problems and/or the "breakup" of the family.
• Interfering with visitations - ie, changing visit times without other parent approval, denying visitations.
• Bashing - speaking badly of other parent to the children.
  
• Spying- using the children as spies. (PASattorny.com)
  

Wow, need I say more? It seems that in today's society, this form of child abuse is widely accepted! What the hell kind of world are we living in? I do realize that there are situations that are opposite, but for the sake of argument, and base on my own experience, I refer to the Mothers. In my opinion, these mothers that have poisoned their children against their fathers are just as bad as the ones that beat their children. Go on, bash me if you like, but remember we each have a right to our own opinion, and this is mine. I'm not afraid to tell people what I think and I'm not afraid of what others might think, it makes for excellent conversation, I think. ;) Regardless of what I think, the fact is children are being abused mentally and emotionally, in order to make one parent feel superior to another.

There are many fathers, along with Mr. Baldwin, that are fighting the injustice of family courts. It takes a brave heart and a determined person to tell the world their experiences, but it takes an even greater person to try to change it. I commend Mr. Baldwin, along with other fathers and other people for that matter, that are trying to change things. Change is typically slow, but it is really nice to see the few changes that are happening.

You can help make a change too! Read this book and open your heart and mind. Go to your library and check out this book. If you can't find it there, you can always order this book at Amazon . $24 is a small price compared to the mental tragedy one can inflict upon their child.