Technology for Country Folk

Not everyone knows technology...

LOG ON:

Making a wood stove hot.

LOG OFF:

Too much wood on fire.

MONITOR:

Keep'n an eye on the wood stove.

DOWN LOAD:

Gitten the farwood off'n the truck.

MEGA HERTZ:

When yer not keerfull gitten the farwood.

FLOPPY DISC:

Whatcha git from tryin to tote too much farwood.

RAM:

That thar thang what splits the farwood.

HARD DRIVE:

Gitten home in the winter time.

WINDOWS:

Whut to shut when its cold outside

SCREEN:

Whut to shut when its black fly season

BYTE:

Whut dem dang flys do

CHIP:

Munchies fer the TV

MICRO CHIP:

Whut's in the bottom of the munchie bag

MODEM:

Whatcha do to the hay fields

DOT MATRIX:

Ole Dan Matrix's wife

LAP TOP:

Whar the kitty sleeps

KEYBOARD:

Whar you hang the dang truck keys

SOFTWARE:

Dem dang plastic forks and knifes

MOUSE:

What eats the grain in the barn

MOUSE PAD:

That's hippie talk fer where the mouse lives

MAINFRAME:

Holds up the barn roof

PORT:

Fancy flatlander wine

ENTER:

Notherner talk fer "C'Mon in y'all"

CLICK:

Whut you hear when you cock yer gun

DOUBLE CLICK:

When you cock the double barrel

REBOOT:

Whut you have to do right before bedtime when you have to go to the outhouse

Artwork by Dennis Cox at

www.djart.com.