Judging Others

Everyone knows the phrase, "You can't judge a book by its cover." It typically applies to people as well as books. Too often I hear people making a snap judgment about someone else simply by looking at them and then treating that person based on their judgements.

I try not to judge like that. I will however finally make an assessed judgement based on someone's actions and words over a period of time. I think it is only fair to give someone a chance to prove themselves. Sometimes, however, that period of time can sometimes be very very short. lol My assessment and final judgement of a person is typically right on. Call it a gift or whatnot, but I still try to give that person the benefit of the doubt.

Why do I assess a person before I judge them? Well, it really has nothing to do with the article, but I thought I would share it anyway.

I have been judged. I have been judged as a "white trash, money grubbing, husband stealing, mistress", but this is not who I am. Far from it in fact. One, I am not white trash. I'm not trash at all, but I have not had the luxuries in life that most people have. Does that make me trash? No way. I am proud that I can survive by hauling water and heating with wood. At least if it came down to it, I know I could survive without help.

Money grubber? Don't think so. The person who called me that is really the money grubber, but that is an even longer story I don't want to tell. Check out my son's blog for that one. haha Sure I like money, who doesn't?? It buys you all kinds of cool things if you have it. Sure I'd like to have more, but hey, I don't, so I use what little I do have to do the things I need to do. I see it as a tool, just like a hammer or a saw.

Husband stealer I am most certainly not. I never have, nor will steal another woman's husband. However, that is not how someone else might view it, but I know the truth and am satisfied with that whether or not someone else believes it or not.

Mistress - well, see above paragraph. This is simply redundant.

But you see...someone has judged me to be this person. In reality, I am a fun, loving, caring, intelligent woman who is very easy to get along with. I am open and happy. Many people have described me as "a breath of fresh air". But someone has unjustly judged me as a horrible person and it doesn't feel so good to be judged as such. I suspect that this person is just trying to justify a reason for what happened. But to be honest, it is quite unfair to me. Oh well. Let her think it.

And that is one reason why I don't do snap judgments. I judge you by your words and actions. Wow, I need to hop off my soap box and get back on topic and onto the article! By the way...April 1st's post about the $40,000 was an April Fools joke...you get that right?? LOL

Have a great weekend!

*************************************

What We See
Judging Others

When we judge others we should ask ourselves where these judgments come from, is it something we see in ourselves?

Though it is human to evaluate people we encounter based on first impressions, the conclusions we come to are seldom unaffected by our own fears and our own preconceptions. Additionally, our judgments are frequently incomplete. For example, wealth can seem like proof that an individual is spoiled, and poverty can be seen as a signifier of laziness—neither of which may be true. At the heart of the tendency to categorize and criticize, we often find insecurity. Overcoming our need to set ourselves apart from what we fear is a matter of understanding the root of judgment and then reaffirming our commitment to tolerance.

When we catch ourselves thinking or behaving judgmentally, we should ask ourselves where these judgments come from. Traits we hope we do not possess can instigate our criticism when we see them in others because passing judgment distances us from those traits. Once we regain our center, we can reinforce our open-mindedness by putting our feelings into words. To acknowledge to ourselves that we have judged, and that we have identified the root of our judgments, is the first step to a path of compassion. Recognizing that we limit our awareness by assessing others critically can make moving past our initial impressions much easier. Judgments seldom leave room for alternate possibilities.

Mother Teresa said, “If you judge people, you don’t have time to love them.” If we are quick to pass judgment on others, we forget that they, like us, are human beings. As we seldom know what roads people have traveled before a shared encounter or why they have come into our lives, we should always give those we meet the gift of an open heart. Doing so allows us to replace fear-based criticism with appreciation because we can then focus wholeheartedly on the spark of good that burns in all human souls.

http://www.dailyom.com/articles/2010/22706.html